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In My Mother’s Life!


“Our value lies in what we are and what we have been, not in our ability to recite the recent past.”

            ~ Homer


“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be their world.”

            ~ Josephine Billings


“I like it when people remember that I’m a person, not just a person with Alzheimer’s.”

            ~ Sally Hepworth


“To love a person is to learn the song in their heart and sing it to them when they have forgotten.”

            ~ Arne Garborg


I have lived the broken system.  I was in my mother’s life, but she was not in mine!  I watched as my mother disappear to Alzheimer’s!  I experienced her getting thrown out of programs because she outlived their ability to care for her.  I picked up piece after piece.  And when there was nowhere else, she went to LTC.  As she disappeared, I forced difficult discussions, so I could honor her life as she died, and do what she wanted.  In the broken system, I advocated for the outcomes of those thoughtful and difficult discussions, and I was ignored.  I was even accused of trying to hasten my mother’s life!  I never left her side, I fought for her, every day, I fought for her dignity!  I reminded everyone she was more than they saw, and she deserved better, I deserved better!  She suffered, I suffered!  She was hidden and forgotten even as I stood by her side!

Our Federal Government passed up the chance to mandate changes to the broken system and ignored the chance to build an accountable care structure to the seniors in this country.  And this Provincial Government continues to build new buildings to house the same broken care!  How do you want to live your aging years?  It’s never too early to answer and give voice to that question!


Written by Deborah Lavender, BMG Senior Consultant

Image Copyright:  CC0, www.rawpixel.com

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